Crappiest opening obituary line ever

From my friend Gina's obituary on Sunday:


Bauer, Gina Suzanne, 34, went to meet the Lord to run and play on May 18, 2007.


Was she a woman with a disability who lived exactly the way she wanted, or was she a fucking puppy?

Why do people assume that just because a person is in a wheelchair or otherwise has some other type of disability that s/he is some poor, pitiful, depressed little creature whose only wish in life is to die so s/he can run and play like all the lucky, able-bodied people s/he has envied her/his entire life?

Note to ABs who just don't get it: We are not unhappy. We are not miserable. We don't give a flying rat's ass that seeing us makes some of you uncomfortable. Get over it. We're a fact of life -- like blue skies and wheat bread and that pimple on your forehead from eating too much greasy food. In fact, why don't you do us all a favor and worry about that pimple. We'll get along fine without your pity and without you talking to us like we're two years old. We don't want to hear about how brave and inspirational you think we are. We're living our lives the best way we know how -- just like you, you ignorant schmucks. We bathe, we get dressed, we go about our days. We want a home and a decent job and maybe to get laid once in a while. Oh, what? Did I offend your delicate sensibilities by saying we actually think about sex? Too damned bad. We do. Having a disability does not equal losing everything that it is to be human. We laugh, we cry, we fuck. Accept that sooner rather than later, and maybe we can get past all this stupidity sooner rather than later.

Note to anyone who knows me personally: If you hear anyone spouting that BS about me when I die, smack them.

OK, so here's the deal

A couple of days before finals week, I noticed my tailbone was sore. I didn't think anything about it since I occasionally lie on it wrong and make it hurt. That night, I tried to sleep on my side to take pressure off. I was in pain the entire night -- tailbone still hurt, and had random sharp pains shooting down my leg and into my foot. In the days since, the shooting pains have stopped, but I have developed numbness on my rear and female bits. I talked to the nurses of my neurologist and G.P. in KS, and both are worried about a pinched nerve and/or nerve damage.

Did I mention I am finally to a point where I can start my experiments? Did I mention I'm planning to start on my character assessments? Does anyone think I REALLY have time for this s---?

Arianne (my lovely assistant) and I are trying to get some pictures taken of fish so I can take them home with me and work on them even in Kansas. This in and of itself is causing me fits because the computer that has the microscope camera and measuring software on it is too old to recognize that my brand new external hard drive exists. So, we're probably going to have to take the pics, write them to CD, install the software on my HD (which I was going to have to do anyway), and then download the pics to the HD. More steps than I want, but if I can get what I want -- whatever. Fortunately, if I get the experiments planned and tell A exactly what I want done, she can do them without me. That's almost done.

I may be back in Kansas next week.

I don't want a numb bum and crotch.

*curses spectacularly*

*EDIT*

In the good news, I got 105/100 on my stats grad student project (ten bonus points for turning it in early) and 95/100 on my final. Stats final grade = A. Overall Ph.D GPA = 3.926.

Stephen Hawking's Zero Grav Flight

See the video. Thanks to Blue for posting a link to a similar vid at The Gimp Parade.

You might not have known this . . .

. . . but Junior Mints are a great stress reliever when you are studying for a stats final. You just need to make sure there are more than six in the box before sitting down with the books -- or noting it when you're out and can get more. Oh, well.

Earlier, I ate my lunch outside in the gorgeous 75-80 degree weather.

At the moment, I'm chatting with my favorite blue-haired Brit (HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NATEY!!) and Jen W while listening to John Barrowman's gorgeous Scottish self croon out of my speakers.

Later, I'll treat myself to a spinach and feta pizza and eat it while watching NCIS. Then I'll read through the notes one more time and get some sleep.

::crosses fingers for A:: The final's a third of my grade, and I'm currently at a 91.75%. Wish me luck!

"That sucks" would be an understatement

Following a link on The Gimp Parade called "Things That Totally Flippin' Freak Me The Hell Out," I read this article about fires during tracheostomies (inserting a breathing apparatus directly into the trachea). I never thought about the possibility of fire INSIDE one's trachea before.

Note to Self: No tracheostomy, OK?

Stolen from Anita

What Classic Pin-Up Are You?

You're Lili St. Cyr!
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Huh? I'm not sensual at all. I don't think . . . .

And the good news continues . . .

I got a 97 on last week's stats exam!